The Memory Will Never Die
by teardropsonthefire
Summary: Bella's life hasn't been easy. Her mother doesn't love her and she doesn't know what she wants in life. She bumps into a guy with the most amazing green eyes... is there hope for her to find some kind of love in this world? AU. OOC. Rated M. CHAPTER 7 UP!
1. Chapter 1

_AU. OOC. I changed the characters/storyline to match how I wanted. So read and enjoy and if you don't like it too bad. P_

_This is rated M for a reason people..._

**Why do you keep screaming at the top of your head?**

**BPOV**

I walked down Alway Street at exactly 4:35am. I took a left down Perry Street and then ducked through the low trees and branches as I reached the dead end of the street. I moved branches out of my way and ducked below others. In exactly 5 minutes I reached the opening through the trees and bushes. I stepped into the sun lit view. There were rocks and a few trees in a wide, grassy opening that was right on the edge of the ocean. This place which I had no name for was my saving grace when I needed to figure out life. I didn't always get the answers but I never left this amazing place without learning something - mostly about myself.

I stood in the opening for a few minutes before I walked over to the edge where you could see the waves crassing against the side of the mountain perfectly. It was almost too much to watch. I began thinking about my life and who I wanted to be. I never really appreciated life much - and I still don't. I guess I was trying to ask myself if I wanted to give up or give in.

I decided that this was my life - and you only get one. I wasn't going to give up and I sure as hell wasn't going to give in. I let out a frustrated scream and took the leap where the ocean and I swam as one.

--

"Bella Swan! You're dripping wet all in my kitchen! Go change - Jesus Christ don't these kids ever learn."

My mother, Renee, never truely loved me. I knew that. She knew that. She was more concerned with who she would be sleeping with tonight than what her daughter was doing. What kind of mother would let you walk into a house dripping wet with a smirk on your face without asking any questions? Obviously mine would.

I changed - not because I was told to - because I figured staying in wet clothes wouldn't be very comfortable in school all day. 6:22am. I better hurry if I want to make it to school on time. Who cares anyway? I've skipped school more times than I've actually been there. Who cares if I'm late or not? I don't care.

I changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt like always. I put on my favorite black hoodie and headed for the stairs. I never bothered to say 'bye' anymore or 'I'll see you later' because Renee wouldn't be here. She got ready for her shift at Denny's bar and after that god knows where she would end up. I didn't care anymore than she did.

I shut the door behind me a little too hard but I didn't care. I was the one who had to walk the hour to school every day. I wasn't even sure school was where I was going. I just let me legs carry my too-thin body wherever they decided to go. I didn't really mind walking to school. It gave me time to think and decide what I wanted to do with my life - not that college was an option. Last time I checked you had to at least attend school a little bit regularly to have the grades or attendance for something like college. Why would I want to go to college anyway? High School graduation is supposed to mean you're finally free. Who are they trying to fool?

I guess school wouldn't be a bad idea today. At least I would be able to have one meal today - lunch. I slept through my first three classes - the teachers stopped caring when I stopped telling them to leave me the hell alone and just decided not to come anymore. I'd be lying if I said school was anything exciting; It's boring as hell but at least I got some excitment last week when Eric Yorkie fell down the stairs and landed on Jessica Stanley.

One of the only reasons I even bother showing up is probably for Angela Weber. When I moved to Forks, Washington two years ago she befriended me when nobody else did. I never had it easy - with Laruen and Jessica thinking their both top bitch in this place. I never cared much for popularity, I just wanted everyone to leave me the hell alone.

_"Oh look, Lauren, fresh meat," Jessica snickered._

_"Yea, looks like the loser could use a makeover. What the hell is she wearing?" Lauren said disgusted._

_"Sorry, Barbie, my limo hasn't arrived with my fashion trunk yet. But we should totally hit the mall later and check out Forever 21!" I replied sarcastically._

_A girl in the background laughed along with other miserables forming a circle around us._

_"Watch it, dike," Lauren leaned in and said in a hushed tone before grabbing Jessica and turning away._

_I just laughed and started walking in the opposite direction._

_"Hey, you smoke?" A voice similar to the same laugh I heard earlier._

_I turned to my left to see an extended hand with a joint placed in it before the hand closed and was tucked in a pocket._

_"Yea," I replied, curious to see what this mystery person could offer._

_"They don't use the old gym locker rooms. Come on."_

_I didn't hesitate. I'd never smoked anything before except a couple of Renee's cigarettes. They didn't do much for me. I figured they were a waste of time and I really didn't feel like dieing from lung cancer anytime soon. I followed the girl into the old boys locker room. The whole wing was blocked off but It wasn't difficult to pick the lock to the off limits wing. There was alot I could learn from this girl._

_"I'm Angela Webber," She said before lighting up. She took a hit and passed it to me. I hesitated for a moment before telling her my name as I grabbed the lit joint. "Bella Swan."_

Never did I think I'd be smoking a doobie with someone my first day at this hideous school. Everyone was all wrapped up in who was dating who and what designer clothes everyone had. It was my worst nightmare. Fucking Barbie Zombies.

Angela and I were pretty good friends. We probably weren't the best influences for each other but we understood each other. Sure we tried all kinds of drugs and she experimented with guys and asked my opinion on each one she described to me, but I think we were good for each other. We weren't stupid about the things we did. We did them together. I didn't experiment with anything sexual though. It didn't really interest me yet. I was more concerned about what bastard Renee was going to bring home. Renee's boyfriends usually consisted of lazy, good for nothing slackers who sat around _my_ house all day expecting _me_ to wait on them. Everytime I told them to get off their lazy asses or to get the hell out of _my_ house a new bruise was added to the collection.

Most nights I stayed with Angela at her boyfriend Ben's apartment. They recently started living together so it was easier to get out of my house without Angela's parents having to give her the third degree about me. Angela's parents were high class people in society and they couldn't let the littlest thing ruin their reputation. They didn't care much for Angela either and when she told them she was moving out they were anything but upset. They acted a bit too excited.

I snapped out of my daydream when the bell rang for fourth period to end. I figured I was just going to ditch the rest of school - Angela wasn't here today anyway. Next time I'll make sure I stop by her and Ben's place first before going through this. No one said anything to me anymore. I was pretty much invisible which made me smile at the thought. I could come here being unnoticed and I could leave being unnoticed. It was a win-win. It wasn't a loss when I wanted to pick a fight with one of the Barbie Zombies either because bumping into one of them in the hallway was sure to get a reaction out of them. I loved watching them act all tough in their pink high heels. Hilarious.

I decided today wasn't the day to pick a fight. I wasn't in the mood. Another sleepless night with no caffeine left me exhausted.

I stumbled out of my fourth period class - the last to leave the room - all before bumping into someone else who was trying to enter the room. I was about to yell a smart ass comment when I looked up into the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen in my life. They were gentle on my confused face and didn't look annoyed by my knocking into them. When my footing was stable I looked once more at those green eyes and then the whole of the person that stood before me.

"Sorry. Are you ok?" The owner of those green eyes asked in a gentle velvet voice.

"Yea," I managed to say. The green eyes swollowed my whole being. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to look away.

"I'm Edward. I just transfered here today. What's your name?

"Bella," I replied annoyed. I wasn't annoyed at the question, I was annoyed at the fact that this 'Edward' would soon become one of the Barbie Zombie's prey and I didn't want any part of that drama.

He smiled before saying one last thing, "See you around, Bella."

He turned back towards the room I had tried leaving and disappeared behind the prison walls.

I was shocked. He was gorgeous. Something about him kept him on my mind the rest of the day. Maybe it was the green eyes I had lost myself in. I wasn't sure what it was but if there was any chance he was immune to the Barbie Zombie's powers, I would sure like to see him again.

**Note: I told you it was different - Different from any other the other stories I've done. I'll try to update as soon as I can. Review and tell me what you think. I don't know who else I'll be adding (Alice, Emmett, etc) so please don't ask. I might not add any of them - I might add them all. You never know. Read and find out.**


	2. Chapter 2

_Recap:_

_"I'm Edward. I just transfered here today. What's your name?"_

_"Bella," I replied annoyed. I wasn't annoyed at the question, I was annoyed at the fact that this 'Edward' would soon become one of the Barbie Zombie's prey and I didn't want any part of that drama._

_He smiled before saying one last thing, "See you around, Bella."_

_He turned back towards the room I had tried leaving and disappeared behind the prison walls._

_I was shocked. He was gorgeous. Something about him kept him on my mind the rest of the day. Maybe it was the green eyes I had lost myself in. I wasn't sure what it was but if there was any chance he was immune to the Barbie Zombie's powers, I would sure like to see him again._

**Dreams are lost and hearts are broken.**

**BPOV**

I didn't go back to Angela's after I skipped the rest of the school day. I went to the spot that overlooked the ocean on the dead end street. I haven't come up with a name for it yet. I fell asleep under the stars that night thinking about those amazing green eyes that I just couldn't get out of my head. I figured I'd go back to Renee's and freshen up before school this morning. I didn't want to go - I didn't have to go - but something made me feel like I _had_ to be there - and I think I knew exactly what it was.

I walked through the door to Renee's and didn't bother calling her name to see if she was home. If she was I'd know soon enough. I grabbed a fresh set of clothes and jumped in the shower before coming back downstairs. There was no sign of anyone. I checked the kitchen and grabbed one of the rotting apples that were on the counter. I tried to find the one that looked the best. It's better than nothing.

I left earlier today than I ever had. I guess I really didn't want to be late to school today. I did take my time though. I kept playing the short conversation back in my head. What was it that I saw in him that made me want to be near him? Then it hit me. I saw _myself_ in his eyes. My true self. The person I wanted so badly to be. Not someone without a real family. Not someone that has no one to love her. I saw myself. _Complete_.

What kind of effect did this guy have over me that made me feel complete in his eyes? Was it because he didn't judge me? Was it because he was new and didn't know me yet? Whatever it was, I needed to know. I needed to see him again.

I hurried the rest of the way to school and got there at 7:30am. I had thirty minutes before classes started and I hoped I could find him here somewhere. I didn't bother looking for Angela or Ben. I just walked down the halls searching for the person that made me feel so good about myself without even saying anything.

I suddenly came to a dead stop. There he was. Edward. There she was. Lauren. She looked my way and a smirk appeared on her face before she turned to whisper something in his ear before kissing him on the cheek. He didn't even look my way - but he smiled at her.

How _stupid_. I can't believe that I thought this stranger had some sort of invisible feeling for me. I knew now that if I ever looked into his green eyes again, I would see who I really was. Who I am and who I always will be. Nothing special.

Why even try? I darted out of the school faster than I ever had before.

I the rest of the day with my dad, Charlie. I pulled the weeds around his headstone and picked flowers randomly on the street before I got there. I layed the flowers around his headstone and fell asleep a few hours after. If anyone could have helped me through this life it would have been Charlie. He divorced Renee when I turned 13 and I decided to move with him to Seattle. I loved it there. Charlie was my best friend. We both knew when to express emotion and when to leave things alone. I could talk to him about anything. He was so understanding. When I turned 14, he was killed on call at a break-in somewhere in Seattle. I had no choice but to move back to Forks to live with Renee. That's when I started the new school and two years later here I am.

I know Charlie wouldn't want a life like this for me. I wish one day that I'll be able to make him proud.

The sun was going down. I looked up to the sky after I re-opened my eyelids. I realized I was covered in the flowers I had layed around Charlie's headstone. The wind must be picking up. I grabbed the backpack I had brought with me to school and here and left my goodbyes for Charlie.

The clouds were thick and dark. I figured I'd end up getting caught in the rain if I didn't hurry. Hurry? To where? I didn't know where I was going. If it's going to rain I better find a big tree to sit under until it passes - or I could always go to Angela and Ben's. I didn't like intruding on them. I know they didn't mind - they actually liked having me there - but they should enjoy their lives together without any unnecessary interuptions.

I felt the first rain drops on my cheeks and then the whole sky started to fall. I pulled the hood to my hoodie from behind over my head. I folded my arms and began to walk in the direction towards Renee's.

The street was pretty dead so I didn't have to worry about any unexpected cars swooshing by and drenching me from the street puddles. Oh great, it looks like I spoke too soon. I heard a car driving up the street. I stepped closer towards the passing houses' lawns to avoid getting majorly drenched from the puddles. I looked to the left as the car came into view and started to slow down. Oh great. Who could this be?

The car's - still moving - passanger window rolled down and then I realized who it was. It was Edward.

"Hey," He called from the driver's seat, "Need a ride?"

"No," I could have kicked myself for answering so quickly. I didn't even have time to think. I guess my guard was just always up.

"But it's raining," The look in his _eyes_ - Always his eyes. Something about them just swollowed me whole again.

"I like the rain."

"Ok then," He said pulling the car over and turning off the engine. I didn't bother to look back and kept on walking.

"Wait up," He called laughing, "Wow it's really raining isn't it?"

"What are you doing?" I said stopping and waiting for him to catch up.

"Walking," He said as he started a normal pace and walked a few steps ahead of me.

"Walking when you have a car?" I asked an eyebrow raised.

"I'm trying to save gas," He replied.

"Right," I decided he wasn't going to go back to his car so I continued to my destination.

After a few minutes of silence he asked, "Where are we walking to?"

"We aren't walking anywhere. I'm walking... home?" I hesitated has I thought about what to call Renee's. It wasn't my home. My statement came out more as a question.

"You don't know where you're going do you?" He asked chuckling.

I couldn't help but smile. He was such a happy person. It should have made me want to throw up but being around him really lightened up my mood.

"Guess not," I said honestly.

"Why don't we do something then,"

"Like what?" What was there to do in a place like Forks?

"The 7:00 movie is about to start. They might be showing a new slasher film if you haven't seen it already," He really must think I'm a morbid person. He was probably right.

"You don't have _anyone_ else to go with?" I asked while the Barbie Zombies came to mind.

"Nope. Just you," He smiled.

"Ok..." I didn't know what kind of company I would be to someone like him, but I knew I couldn't say no. He obviously wanted something and if I was able to look into those green eyes and see what I saw the other day again, I knew I would have regreted saying no.

"Great. So, are we going to walk all the way over there? In the _rain_?" He asked sarcastically.

I shook my head and smiled as we both headed back for his car.

We hadn't walked that far so getting back to the car was the easy part. The ride to the movie theater and the movie itself would be the difficult part.

"So what movie do you want to see?" He asked while he started the engine.

"I'm not sure what's playing," I bit my bottom lip. I actually really liked movies, I just had alot of other things on my mind than what the latest movie flops were.

"They have this new movie called Twilight playing. It's about vampires or something like that. It sounds pretty cool," He didn't look at me for my reaction. I missed those green eyes every time I couldn't see them.

"Fair enough," I replied.

"Fair enough?" He questioned.

"If you're paying for the movie you might as well get to choose it," I said.

"Oh I see how it is," He laughed as did I.

We pulled into the parking lot for the movie theater and sat a minute after he turned the engine off.

"Bella-" He started.

"Come on, we're going to miss the beginning of the movie," I said quickly before getting out of the car. I really didn't want to know what he was going to say. It was probably something the Barbie Zombies told him or about how much of a klutz I am for almost trampling him the other day at school. I just wanted to get this over with as much as I wanted it to last forever.

The movie was actually pretty good. It was a bit mushy but in that 'It was ment to be' type of way. I really liked it. Edward didn't say much to me when we got into the movie theater because the movie started the minute we found our seats. I was relieved that we didn't have alot of time to talk. I wasn't good with words and I didn't want Edward to know the things I've done. I know he would run the other way if he knew the truth about me.

We went right for his car when the movie was over and I kept my distance from him. What he didn't know is that through most of the movie my eyes were on him. I stared at the corner of his eyes wishing to see the person I want so badly to be in them again. I wonder if he really saw me that way or if it was just an illusion.

We got in the car and Edward started the engine. "So, did you like the movie?" He asked. "It was kind of mushy," I made a face which made him laugh, "But I liked it," He smiled with me. He pulled out of the parking lot and started down the road.

"So, where are you going now?" He asked so he knew where to drop me off.

"You can drop me off on the street you picked me up," I said looking out the window.

"You don't want me to know where you live do you?" He asked with a smile in his voice.

"Nope," I said turning my head to face him. He was smiling which made me smile.

"Will you be in school tomarrow?" He asked his tone a little more serious now.

"I don't know," I said slouching into the seat a little more.

"Why do you ditch?" He asked curiously.

"I don't know. I guess I think school's a big waste of time for me. I'm not going to college or anything anyway, so what's the point?" I replied honestly.

"Why don't you think you're going to college?"

I turned back to face the window and he let the conversation drop. We turned onto the street that started this inconvenience and he parked and turned off the engine. It's not that I didn't like spending this time with him, It's that I don't feel like telling anyone else my problems.

"Thanks for the movie," I said. It wasn't raining anymore but it made everything smell like wet cement. Disgusting.

"I'd like to see you again, Bella," He said reaching out and touching my arm as I went for the door handle. His words stopped me dead in my tracks.

"I'll be in school tomarrow," I smiled.

"Good," He smiled in return.

I got out of the car then, hoping to stop anything else he was going to ask me. I started home as he looked through me with those green eyes as he drove past me.

I feel like for the first time in years I feel a little bit alive again. There was something about Edward that made me want to be around myself. I felt like a decent person when I was with him. He seemed so understanding that I probably would be able to tell him everything one day. I know that this was probably a spir of the moment thing that won't ever happen again. The Barbie Zombies probably ditched him which gave him the excuse to hang out with me. I guess I always think the worst in things which is why I don't see this thing with Edward as anything positive.

The day Charlie died, my whole world collapsed underneath me. Every single bit of positivity I had in me was lost when I moved in with Renee. I have never found anything in this world that I thought could heal my broken heart. I know that no one will ever be able to take Charlie's place in my heart, but only if someone was willing to help me pick up the pieces. The owner of those green eyes saw something in myself that I haven't seen in a long time. Maybe that would be enough to allow myself to dream again.

**Note: I'm getting attached to this story already. I can't wait to see what happens next. It's like a movie in my head that just wants to keep going. No one can turn it off. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading. I'll hopefully update soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

_Recap:_

_"I'd like to see you again, Bella," He said reaching out and touching my arm as I went for the door handle. His words stopped me dead in my tracks._

_"I'll be in school tomarrow," I smiled._

_"Good," He smiled in return._

_I got out of the car then, hoping to stop anything else he was going to ask me. I started home as he looked through me with those green eyes as he drove past me._

_I feel like for the first time in years I feel a little bit alive again. There was something about Edward that made me want to be around myself. I felt like a decent person when I was with him. He seemed so understanding that I probably would be able to tell him everything one day. I know that this was probably a spir of the moment thing that won't ever happen again. The Barbie Zombies probably ditched him which gave him the excuse to hang out with me. I guess I always think the worst in things which is why I don't see this thing with Edward as anything positive._

_The day Charlie died, my whole world collapsed underneath me. Every single bit of positivity I had in me was lost when I moved in with Renee. I have never found anything in this world that I thought could heal my broken heart. I know that no one will ever be able to take Charlie's place in my heart, but only if someone was willing to help me pick up the pieces. The owner of those green eyes saw something in myself that I haven't seen in a long time. Maybe that would be enough to allow myself to dream again._

**Ain't That Unusual.**

**BPOV**

I turned onto the street where Renee lived. I decided to stay there tonight since the weather wasn't so great. It wasn't a big house - medium sized. It was just enough for a family of 4 or 5 to live comfortably. The house was dark from the outside - hopefully Renee what whatever guy she was seeing this month would be out all night - how perfect that would be.

I used the spare key Renee always kept taped under the mailbox incase she left her keys at the bar like she often did. I didn't bother getting my own key. This one was always here. The house smelt musky, like it hadn't been lived in for a few months. I wasn't going to start thinking about where Renee could be, I just decided to go upstairs and listen to the radio while I layed on my bed.

_Could you talk to me  
Honestly  
Cause I never heard a word you said now  
And I ain't just being mean  
Cause all we are is what we're told  
And most of that's been lies  
It's like a made for TV movie  
And I just blew my line_

Someday you never made it  
and maybe it never will  
Hey, you never made it  
Ain't that unusual

The lyrics took me on a journey with them and I soon drifted to sleep. I had a dream about Edward that night.

_"Bella, what are you doing here?" Edward asked curious._

_"I'm searching for something," I said looking all around him._

_"Searching for what?" He asked._

_"The answer," I said._

_"The answer to what?" He asked confused._

_"The answer to the question!" I said enthusiastically. I was excited._

_"Bella," He laughed, "Give me your hand."_

_"Why?" I asked confused._

_"So I can show you the answer," He said reaching out for my hand with a smile painted across his face._

_I reached my hand out but our hands didn't touch. He was too far away._

I woke up to birds singing and the sun shining. It was the first time in a long time that I woke up with a smile on my face. I was confused about the dream - Why couldn't I reach him? - but I was so carefree that I didn't bother to dwell on it. I literally bounced to the shower. My whole mood was so perky and happy. This must be how the Barbie Zombies feel when they're asked to the school dances. I showered fairly quickly and then bounced down the stairs to see if Renee had any cereal for breakfast. There wasn't any cereal but there was a fresh-looking banana on the counter so I grabbed it and went out the door while grabbing my bookbag. I didn't really carry books in my bookbag. It was more of a purse type thing to me. I kept my valuables in it because I never knew where I'd be going next.

It didn't take me long to get to school. I left almost 25 minutes early. I still couldn't believe I was actually going for this reason. Never in my life did I think I would let some guy take control like he did when he was around me. I felt so complete with him that I knew in my heart I would do anything for him. For once in my life I felt like the part inside me that was missing has finally healed.

Not many people were at the school yet so I doubted Edward would be here this early either. I sat on the steps behind the school and watched the clouds go by and the fog roll in from the east.

"Hey stranger," a soft voice came from beside me. I turned to see Edward smiling at me from the step he was now sitting on too.

"Hi," I breathed as his face came so close to mine that we were only a few inches apart.

"Sleep well?" He asked, his cool breath caressing my face with his close contact.

"Yes," I whispered my heart beginning to race.

"Good," He said as his lips brushed my cheek. He let out a sigh as he burried his nose in my hair gently. "You smell amazing."

It wasn't weird that he was this close, it was kind of a turn on. I could already feel the effects Edward had on me.

"Edward," I almost moaned. I could have slapped myself for letting his name escape like that - especially here.

He laughed and pulled away. "Come on," He said offering my his hand, "We don't want to be late for class."

I looked up at him as he stood his hand still extended towards me. I grabbed it and he helped me up. I expected him to let go but he didn't. He held onto my hand as we walked into the school and down the hall to where my first class was. I told him which hallways to take.

The Barbie Zombies spotted us as we reached my first class. Lauren and Jessica gave me dirty looks as they eyed Edward and I hand in hand. Edward seemed to notice too but only tightened his grip. We stopped as we reached the door to the classroom.

"Will you be here all day?" Edward asked hopeful.

"I don't know..." I trialed off. I hadn't seen Angela or Ben at school in a while. I hadn't bothered going over their either because I wanted to give them their space. I probably should make sure they're alive at least.

Edward leaned down to whisper in my ear, "Let's ditch after third period. I have a math test after that." He said it almost seductively.

We both laughed and I smiled at him. I really didn't want him to start ditching school because of me. He had a future. I didn't. It didn't matter for me.

"Edward-" He interupted me by crashing his lips to mine. I heard all the Barbie Zombies gasp in shock at the sight which made me smile against his lips. He returned the smile. We began moving our lips in sinc and Edward wrapped his arms around my waist. I quickly pulled away without gaining too much PDA. "Third period," I breathed. He smiled and started down the hall again. He just passed the Barbie Zombies without giving them a second look. I knew then that I had won.

I daydreamed through the first and second period. Edward and I had third period together so I pretty much tried not to stare at him the whole time. I caught him staring at me a few times though - which I really happened to like. I liked the fact that he wanted to look at me. There was something about me that made him turn his head and it made me feel really good about myself. I couldn't stand listening to Mrs. Blanch talk about anymore dead presidents so I turned on my ipod and laid my head on the desk with the hood to my hoddie pulled over to cover the earphones.

_Yeah I'm fadin'  
And I call out  
No One Hears Me  
Never been, never felt, never thought I'd say a word_

Yeah I'm fadin'  
And I call out  
No one hears me  
Never been, never felt, never thought I'd say a word  
Weighed down  
Safe now 

I felt myself drift away with the music and before I knew it I was out like a light. I never heard the bell for the end of the period ring so I woke up to a tapping on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and turned my head to see Edward smiling down at me. I smiled up at him and sat up in my seat.

"Have a good nap?" He tried to contain his laughter.

"Sure did," Although the song stuck in my head like a bad show tune.

I got out of my seat and Edward led the way to the door. He took my hand as we entered the hallway and walked to the side doors. We took our time walking down the hill from the school, Edward never letting go of my hand.

"What do you want to do?" Edward asked turning to look at me as we continued to walk through the cemetary down the hill.

"I want you to meet Charlie."

Edward looked at me with a questioning expression.

"My dad," I said as I stopped us infront of his grave. Edward's expression was sympathetic but aware as well - as if this answered an unspoken question.

I never wanted him to say he was sorry for me. I missed Charlie but I just wanted to move on. It was so hard at times but so easy at others. It guess it all depends on the way the sun shines in the sky.

Edward never said he was sorry, he sat there with me - for hours. We talked about nothing really. Nothing personal. I was still afraid to tell him anything about me - anything that might scare him away. He told me a little bit about him though. He's 17. He lives with his mother, Esme, father, Carlisle, and sister, Alice. He's good friends with Emmett and Jasper from school. I knew Emmett and Jasper. I never thought much about them - they never bothered me. I hadn't seen Alice around much though. She seemed a little too perky for me. She seems like the type that solves ever crisis with shopping or getting your nails done.

"When are you going to start telling me about you?" Edward asked a little sarcastically.

I bit my bottom lip. I didn't want to answer his question - I didn't know how to.

"We don't have to talk about anything now - when you feel more comfortable around me," He winked.

He was so clueless. I was already comfortable around him. It physically hurt not to tell him what he wanted to know. I wanted to tell him everything and anything he was willing to listen to. I wanted to keep him awake for days at a time talking about our lives and kissing him when the conversation led to the hard parts. I wanted to let him in to my world - the one thing I was unwilling to do for anyone else. If it wasn't Edward, it wouldn't be anyone.

He noticed me struggling to decide whether or not to tell him. He caressed my cheek. "Bella, relax. You don't _have_ to tell me anything."

His reassurance instantly made me relax onto the dry grass. I layed back looking up to the sky. I closed my eyes.

"My mother's an alcoholic and she goes through boyfriends like they're a new pair of shoes. When she gets bored with one she'll find a new pair. I don't like staying there because the guys she brings home are lazy and useless. They think because I'm her daughter that I have to give them _everything_ they want. Sometimes I stay with my friend Angela and her boyfriend Ben but they're really happy with each other and I don't like feeling like I'm intruding. So I either find somewhere dry to stay the night or stay at Renees... I skip school because it's a huge waste of time. I have no money for college and even if I did my grades would never get me accepted. I know I probably won't be here for that anyway so I figure it's not really worth it to try."

I spilled my heart out to practically a stranger. How long ago did I even meet him? Yea, I knew a little bit about him but now he knew too much about me - too much that will drive him away...

Edward thought for a long moment before looking into my eyes with a soft look on his face. It was gentle and accepting. He brought his hand to my face and stroked my cheek lightly. "Bella, your life isn't that unusual."

Confusion flooded my face and he noticed. He opened his mouth to speak again before I pressed my lips to his. If we was going to say that he regrets ditching school with me or seeing that movie, I just needed one last kiss... just one late kiss.

Unexpectedly he kissed me back before slowly pulling away. "Before I moved here I was expelled from my last school. Esme and Carlisle actually adopted me two years ago. I know exactly how you feel," He finished by crashing his lips to mine again this time coming back to the soft ground with me.

Edward, you are more than I could have ever wished for and I guess this life ain't that unusual.

**Note: This chapter took me a few days to write. Sorry! I hope you like the way this is headed. Edward isn't the goody-goody you think he's going to be. He's got a dark past too. Edward and Bella are becoming closer than ever. Will their relationship be strong because of the experiences they have both had to go through or does a dark cloud follow them both? Keep reading to find out.**


	4. Chapter 4

_Recap:_

_Confusion flooded my face and he noticed. He opened his mouth to speak again before I pressed my lips to his. If we was going to say that he regrets ditching school with me or seeing that movie, I just needed one last kiss... just one late kiss._

_Unexpectedly he kissed me back before slowly pulling away. "Before I moved here I was expelled from my last school. Esme and Carlisle actually adopted me two years ago. I know exactly how you feel," He finished by crashing his lips to mine again this time coming back to the soft ground with me._

_Edward, you are more than I could have ever wished for and I guess this life ain't that unusual._

**I'm losing my favorite game.**

**BPOV**

Edward and I spent the rest of the day with Charlie. I didn't ask him anything more about what happened to him before he was adopted by Esme and Carlisle - I figured he'd tell me when he was ready. I wanted him to know that I respected him enough to wait for him to tell me. I didn't need to know everything about his past right now. All I need now is him - and I have that.

"It's getting late," Edward said as he brought me closed to him while we laid on the cool ground above Charlie. I sighed. "What is it?" He turned his head to see me face. "I just - I don't know," I sighed trying to hide my face from him. Edward sat up so he could fully face me now.

"Bella, what is it?" He asked pained.

"I just like the feeling..." I trailed off.

"The feeling of what?" He said pushing a loose strand of hair behind my left ear.

"Being in your arms," I whispered. I felt a little embarrassed for feeling so needy. It's just that for once in my life I felt like I was safe.

Edward smiled at me before leaning in to press his lips to mine. This kiss practically took my breath away but he pulled away all too soon.

"I want you to stay with me," He breathed.

"What?" I croaked.

"Stay with me, Bella," He repeated, firmly this time.

"What about-"

Edward cut me off with a passionate kiss that landed us both with our backs on the ground again. This time Edward was hovering over me - kissing me furiously. He never took his lips off of me - even when he did let me breathe - he just traveled to my neck.

"Edward," I tried to say but lust took over my entire sense of reasoning. "Your parents."

"They'll love you," He said between kisses.

"Not if we don't leave now. It's late."

He finally stopped after one last peck and locked his eyes on mine.

"Okay," He smiled.

"Ok," I returned the smile.

He got up and after helping me up we started back down the hill toward Edward's house. I didn't know where he lived but I could only imagine that it was somewhere amazing and beautiful - just like him.

That was an understatement. Edward lived in a large white house on the outskirts of town. It was amazing. It almost took my breath away - but I couldn't be sure if it was the house or him standing next to me with my hand in his.

He smiled and leaned down to kiss me on the top of the head.

"They'll love you," He said as he started toward the house bringing me along with him.

We walked through the large front door of Edward's house. "Mom, Dad?" Edward called as we stood in the hallway.

"In the kitchen," A man's voice called. Edward led the way to the kitchen. I gasped when I saw how incredibly homey his parents looked as they made dinner. I never had a mother who cooked anything besides TV dinners and watching Edward's mother and father equally participating in making dinner was a new sight to me. It was a scene you would see in a movie. It was perfect. I wanted so much to be apart of it. I froze them - my hand still in Edward's. So many feelings and thoughts took over my body so quickly that I started to panic. What would these wonderful people want with someone like me? Of course they would laugh in histerics when Edward asked them if I could stay with them.

"Mom, Dad, I have to ask you something," Edward started. I paniced and pulled my hand from his and moved backwards. "Stop, Edward."

"What's wrong?" He asked, his face pained from my reaction. I could only imagine the expression of pure fright on my face.

"I can't-" I said running out the door. I ran and ran and I didn't stop. I wanted to be with Edward but I couldn't just invade his life like this. I was too good at being the girl that hid from everyone. I was losing my favorite game.

I found myself at Angela's and Ben's and used my key to open the door to their apartment. I needed something that I knew would help me calm down. I knew where Angela and Ben kept their stash. I quickly lit up a joint and relaxed on the floor leaning against the sofa. I'm such an idiot. What the hell am I doing trying to be with Edward? It's crazy. He should be with Lauren or Jessica. I quickly got up and went to the fridge where Angela and Ben kept their wide range of alcoholic beverages. I randomly picked something and started chugging. I didn't stop until the whole bottle was gone and grabbed another. I went back to the little living room and sat on the floor leaning against the sofa again.

I had just ruined everything.

--

I sure wasn't sober anymore but I decided it was time to get out of Angela and Ben's place. I left a note saying I had stopped by and raided the fridge and what-not. My legs brought me to Edward's house. I sat underneath a tree for a few hours and watched the windows as the lights turned on and off. Suddenly a light went on in a window upstairs and I saw Edward with worry all over his face. Carlisle was pulling in the driveway as I threw up the contents of the liquor I had practically just inhaled. A few minutes later I saw Carlisle in Edward's room. Edward opened the window and stood by the window. I could hear what they were saying faintly now.

"I couldn't find her anywhere downtown," Carlisle said.

"Ugh," Edward sighed and it looked like he just lit up a cigarette.

"Please not in the house, Edward," Carlisle pleaded.

"Sorry," He said putting it out, "I'm just worried about her."

"I know. She'll come around. This is probably very hard for her assuming from what you've told Esme and I tonight," He said trying to comfort him with understanding.

"I'm going to go look for her. I don't want her to have to go to her mother's - not after..." He trailed off. I must have told him too much already. He knew about my mother's perverted boyfriends and her abuse. Maybe he really did care...

Edward passed Carlisle and left his room. He pulled on his jacket after closing the front door. It looked like he was going to try and find me on foot since he headed for the sidewalk without even going towards the driveway.

I couldn't let him hunt for me like this. I needed to go to him - to tell him it was stupid to look for me.

I followed him until he was a few blocks away from his house before calling to him after fighting with myself to just turn around and run for twenty minutes.

"Edward..." I called from behind. Edward spun around so fast that I had to blink a few times to re-focus.

"Bella!" He ran towards me. He wrapped his strong, warm arms around my cold waist and kissed forcefully. I couldn't push him away - my body refused to.

"Bella, you're freezing. Where have you been? Why did you leave? I love you..." _What did he just say?_

"What?" I asked bewildered. _Did he say he loves me?_

"You had me worried sick. Please don't ever do that again. I'll take care of you, Bella. You don't have to go back to your mother's. I talked to my parents and they're fine with you staying with me," He said kissing me again. He obviously didn't want to do anymore talking. He was just so happy to see that I was alright he wanted to savor the moment with my lips.

"Edward," I said pulling away.

"I love you, Bella. I realized that not having you near me, - in my arms - it makes me anxious. I want to keep you safe. I love you," He said kissing me again.

"No," I said when he let us both breathe from his kisses.

"No?" He asked?

"You can't love me," I said pulling away.

"I love you, Bella. I'm afraid there's nothing you can do to change that now," He smiled.

No one has ever said that to me before. Of course Charlie loved me - I knew that without him even having to tell me, but Renee never said she loved me - not even once. Edward was the only person to say this to me and mean it in this way. Somehow I felt he loved and cared for me even more than Charlie ever could. I couldn't help but frown though.

"Why?" I asked confused. Why was he willing to risk everything for me? Not that he was risking anything yet but there was so much darkness to me that he didn't even begin to know about.

"Bella, look at yourself - I mean really look. You are worth having someone love and care for you even if you don't see it. Stop thinking that you're not," He said brushing my cheek.

He loved me, but I didn't know how to love him back. I had never been shown or taught that. Would he be patient enough to wait for me to know how to love him? I didn't know if I could be taught that.

Edward brought me back to his house and led the way to his bedroom. It was late and he could tell that I was exhausted since he practically had to carry me the whole way back. I'm so tired of this life. Maybe being with Edward could change things. Maybe he could help me. Maybe I would be able to love him.

He curled up with me on his bed, - both of us still in our jeans and t-shirts - we didn't bother to change.

Edward held me as I looked out his window and thought of all the reasons why this was so wrong. I'm not good at letting people into my world because usually they don't come back the same. It would really be a curse if a mind reader decided to read my mind because no one wants to know the things that I know...

**Note: What is so bad that Bella feels she will keep everyone safer if she's gone and away from them? What is she hiding from everyone? Review and tell me your theories on what Bella's hiding and why she feels she's a danger to everyone around her. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

_Recap:_

_"Bella, look at yourself - I mean really look. You are worth having someone love and care for you even if you don't see it. Stop thinking that you're not," He said brushing my cheek._

_He loved me, but I didn't know how to love him back. I had never been shown or taught that. Would he be patient enough to wait for me to know how to love him? I didn't know if I could be taught that._

_Edward brought me back to his house and led the way to his bedroom. It was late and he could tell that I was exhausted since he practically had to carry me the whole way back. I'm so tired of this life. Maybe being with Edward could change things. Maybe he could help me. Maybe I would be able to love him._

_He curled up with me on his bed, - both of us still in our jeans and t-shirts - we didn't bother to change._

_Edward held me as I looked out his window and thought of all the reasons why this was so wrong. I'm not good at letting people into my world because usually they don't come back the same. It would really be a curse if a mind reader decided to read my mind because no one wants to know the things that I know..._

**You take alot of chances with your feelings.**

**EPOV**

It was like I didn't even lift my eyelids. I saw nothing but complete darkness. I moved around a bit to discover a cold body next to mine. I felt around the nightstand until the lamp was finally turned on. Bella lay sound asleep on my bed - in my room. I touched her cheek gently - she was freezing. I got up and walked to the closet and got an extra blanket since we had fallen asleep on top of the ones already on my bed. I didn't have the heart to wake her so I just covered her up with a spare.

Despite my efforts, Bella turned to her other side now facing me and her beautiful eyes fluttered open. "Edward," She breathed and her confused expression turned into a soft smile. Her face was so beautiful, so soft and innocent. I can't even begin to imagine how anyone could even dream of hurting her. He soft expression finally triggered something inside of me that Bella had been trying to tell me all along. There was pain behind this beauty. I finally realized it. I'm sure that everything she's gone through has left permanent scars - I know I had a few.

Looking back two years ago, I never thought that a Doctor that cared for me after a failed suicide attempt would want to adopt someone that didn't appreciate anything in life. I was a pretty bad kid back then - not saying that all my ways have changed. Carlisle wouldn't take no for an answer when he asked me if something was wrong with my home life. His wife, Esme, was more of a mother to me in the first 5 minutes of meeting her than I have ever had in my life. I felt the same exact way Bella did when I told her I loved her when Carlisle and Esme told me they wanted to adopt me. I wasn't good enough for them to want me and I didn't want to cause them any pain.

"Edward?" Bella asked sitting up - her face turning into a worried expression now. Her concern broke my trip to the past and I settled my eyes back on hers. I was completely lost in everything she had. Why can't she just see that.

"Are you ok?" She asked as I sat back on the bed next to her while she sat up as well.

"Fine," I replied. I wasn't sure if I should tell her about me yet. I wasn't sure that I was ok with what happened myself. If I couldn't accept it how could she? You take alot of chances with your feelings.

"I didn't know you smoke," She said eyeing me from the side. Bella was now sitting indian style on the bed next to me as my legs hung off the side.

"How-" I couldn't make out the words before she interupted.

"I kind of came back here after I left. I saw you in your room with Carlisle..." She trailed off seeming embarassed for either coming back or thinking she was spying on me. It was a weird sense of pleasure to know that she was able to come back to me after everything she's confessed to me already.

"I quit actually," I said and she shot back a sarcastic smile.

"How many times?" She asked.

"Three," I was embarassed this time.

Bella brushed her cheek against mine before moving to my lips. She captured my lips with her own and I couldn't help the lust that came over me. I gently pushed her back flat on the bed as I hovered above her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and after a few more passionate kisses we both gained back our control and I layed beside her on the bed bringing her into my arms.

"I love being with you," She whispered barely audible.

"I love holding you," I replied in the same whisper.

"Never let me go, Edward," She whispered on the verge of sleep once again.

"I promise, I'll never let you go."

--

This time when I opened my eyes I was completely aware of where I was. The sun shining through the open window did wonders on Bella's skin. She glistened as the sun danced upon her skin. I couldn't keep my hands off of her. I trailed my fingertips on ever showing part of her skin and paid extra special attention to her lips and cheeks - that's when Bella's expression turned into a smile.

Bella opened her eyes and this time I saw something I had never seen before in her eyes. I saw trust and love - not regret.

"What time is it?" Bella asked - her gaze fixed on mine.

"9:30," I replied.

"What do you want to do?" She asked moving up into a sitting position on my bed.

"I'll make us breakfast and then you could show me where you live..." It wasn't quite a question. I wanted to know if she was willing to let me into her world.

"I don't know..." She trailed off biting her bottom lip. She was scared - I knew that - but she needed to know that I didn't care what we might find there.

"Bella, I love you no matter what. If you're not ready to let me in I understand."

"No - It's not that. I'm just afraid... Renee, her boyfriend... I just hope they're not there," I explained.

I kissed her on the forehead and then we headed downstairs towards the kitchen. I made Bella one of Esme's speciality omelets. Esme had a secret touch for every food out there that made it one hundred times better.

"Finished?" I asked as Bella came around the island counter with her plate.

"Yup."

"Let's go then," I replied taking her plate and putting it in the sink and then taking her hand in mine.

Esme and Carlisle were both at work and I figured I'd be back before either of them got home so I didn't think leaving a note was necessary.

When Bella and I were outside it was like seeing the world for the first time in new light. It smelt different and felt different even though it all looked the same. I knew being with Bella brought out the best in me even if worrying about her made me light one up now and then. It was my way of coping.

I realized that when I'm with her I never stop smiling and all I can think about is touching her and holding her. There is so much I want to do with her. I haven't realized how complete my life has become with her. I cared for her so much that I would do anything to be with her forever. Some people just have that special connection right away and I felt that spark with Bella. I didn't just want her for what she could offer me - I want her for the way she makes me feel when I see a smile on her face. Every breath she takes almost makes my heart ache. I loved her that much.

"We're almost there," Bella said from my side. She was looking up into my eyes. I must have been lost in my thoughts. I felt so rude - even though my thoughts were about her.

"Sorry," I apologized for zoning out on her for practically the whole walk.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked curiously.

"An amazing girl I know," I smiled and she returned it.

I hugged her tighter to my side as we turned onto a new street. Bella's street to my discovery when she stopped us in front of a medium-sized blue paneled house. It was a normal house - not that kind of house that you would think wouldn't be safe for someone. Bella gave me one last longing look before we began our journey into her world.

**Note: I don't know why these chapters take me so long but I usually start it and then come back to it later. Sorry for the wait, I know you're excited to see what happens next. Finally, Edward is going to get a look into what Bella has been hiding from everyone. The next chapter is probably going to be in EPOV also. Let me know what you think of the story going back and forth between POV. Thanks! Review Review Review. haha.**


	6. Chapter 6

_Recap:_

_I hugged her tighter to my side as we turned onto a new street. Bella's street to my discovery when she stopped us in front of a medium-sized blue paneled house. It was a normal house - not that kind of house that you would think wouldn't be safe for someone. Bella gave me one last longing look before we began our journey into her world._

**These tears don't fall, they crash around me.**

**BPOV**

I already knew what to expect. I prayed to god that Renee and her boyfriend weren't home - I guess it didn't really matter. Edward was going to meet them sooner or later - might as well get it over with.

We walked down the leaf covered pathway until we came to the two stairs that led to the porch. I could already smell the alcohol on my mother's breath and I could already hear the words she never failed to say to me - "You're a useless piece of trash! If your good-for-nothing father wouldn't have gotten me wasted that night you wouldn't even be here. I can't believe how dumb I was not to know I was pregnant with your fucking ass! I would have gotten an abortion but it was too late. Look what you've become now. A slut. A whore. A bitch - just like your father. A good-for-nothing piece of trash! If I drank a little bit more I might have been free of you!" Realization hit me like a ton of bricks when Edward opened the door and the smell of alcohol and other illegal substances attacked our senses. I wanted to turn around - I wanted to run so fast and never look back. I didn't want Edward to see this. Oh god. What have I done.

"What do you mean you were fired?" A cracked voice sounded from the living room. I eyed Edward and he nodded. I can't believe he wanted this.

"Dumb bitch! If you put your skank daughter out on the streets like I told you to we wouldn't be having this fucking argument!" A hungover voice stated.

"I never know where that little bitch is! I can't keep track of her while I'm working two jobs to support your lazy ass!" The woman's voice was now furious.

"Bitch!" The man screamed and then came banging and crashing and more yelling.

I was so scared that I was shaking. What would happen if they noticed Edward and I during their fight? Would they come after us? Him? My heart stopped.

"Bella," Edward said worriedly as he held my shaking figure. "Please, Edward. Let's go," I pleaded desperately, trying to turn around for the door. "I love you, Bella. I won't let anything happen to you," He kissed the top of my head before leaving me and walking towards the shouting. I was frozen for a moment before I realized what he was doing and I couldn't run fast enough to stop him. I ran into him and we fell to the ground as we collided. The sound from our fall made both Renee and the man who's name I hadn't bothered to remember look up.

"Speak of the bitch!" He shouted as he stumbled back into his recliner.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Renee brushed herself off embarassingly in the presence of another - Edward.

"I'm moving out," I whispered, my voice cracking. My throat was so dry I thought it would break into a bunch of tiny little pieces if I said anymore.

"Fuck woman, your own daughter doesn't even want you," The man laughed evilly.

"Fine!" Renee shouted throwing a half empty beer can towards me. Edward quickly pulled me out of the way. _I won't let anything happen to you._ His earlier words repeated in my head. I sighed from relief of the thought. "Get out then!" Renee finished.

I pulled Edward along side of me as we made our way for the stairs that were located in the kitchen. There was no avoiding Renee or her boyfriend since you had to go through the living room to get to the kitchen. We quickly made our way upstairs which was followed by more shouting and crashing coming from below us.

"Edward," I cried, burrying my head in his chest.

"Shh, It's ok. We'll get your stuff and then we'll be out of here. You'll never have to come back," He brushed away the tears that seeped from my eyelids.

Edward and I quickly gathered up the things I wanted to take with me. I didn't have much but I treasured the things I did have - pictures with Charlie and some clothes. We were just about ready to leave when we heard the loudest crash we've heard since being here. It made us both look up and then at each other. The crash was followed by screaming - Renee. It was a sick scream - like someone being severely tortured for one's amusment.

We grabbed my things and ran down the stairs - Edward ahead of me. He stopped suddenly and I was just about to ask what was wrong when I felt the smoke begin to burn my nose and eyes. I couldn't help but let our a cry at the contact and Edward turned to face me. He held me close with my nose and mouth pressed firmly against the side of his chest as we continued down the stairs to the kitchen.

I moved my head slightly to see Renee - to hear her screams. The man that slept beside her was the man that ended her life.

--

"Bella? Bella? Bella?" A strained velvet voice spoke far away from the mists of my foggy mind. I fluttered my eyes open to see Edward hovering over me. I looked to the side and noticed we were on the neighboor's front lawn.

"What-?" I couldn't finished before Edward interupted.

"You passed out from the smoke. I'm sorry," He held me tight to his chest. Over his shoulder I could see Renee's house - My house - overwhelmed in flames. Not a single part of the house was immune to the raging flames and thick, black smoke. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I wished for this so many times - and now tears crashed from my eyes as I realized everything was gone. The person I hated most in this world finally got what she deserved - But did she? Did she not deserve a second chance? I would never be able to tell her the so many things I dreamed of saying to her. If she could hear me, I would tell her that I'm sorry and that she was my mother - my only mother - and no matter what happened in the past, I still loved her and I forgive her.

My body started to shake with my cries and Edward held onto me like he said he would. He saved me - not only from the fire - but from my whole outlook on life. I never thought I'd be able to forgive. Somehow, being with Edward was like seeing the sun coming out after a hurricane. Everything around you may be falling to pieces but the sun kept you safe and gave you hope for a new day.

--

Edward had carried me and my things back to his house. I must have fallen asleep on the way because when I opened my eyes, I was lying in Edward's bed and the clock read 10pm. Edward was sitting at the desk in his room. He turned and smiled to me when he heard that I had woken up.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," He said as he made his way to sit next to me on his bed. He brought his hand up and cupped my cheek. I leaned into the caress and closed my eyes - breathing deeply - while trying to clear my head. "I kind of just want to forget about it," I said. My past has been permanently erased. It would no longer be able to find me since there was nothing left. All I had now were the scars and the memories which could easily be hidden and locked away. I knew now that I just needed to move on - and I wanted to move on. Edward was my life now.

"I put your things in the guest room. Carlisle and Esme think it's best that you have your own room," He shrugged probably not liking the idea that I would be sleeping so close to him but still so far away. I leaned up to kiss him and he eagerly returned the kiss. He layed on the bed beside me and brought me into his warm embrace. He let out a sigh that told me he felt like it was normal to have me in his arms - something that shouldn't ever change. Being in his arms was home to me too.

"They probably won't make you go to school tomarrow," He said running his fingers through my hair.

"I want to go," I replied.

"_You_ want to go to school?" He asked sarcastically as he smiled.

"You'll be there."

He didn't say anything then - he only hugged my tighter.

I've been thinking alot about what love means - or what it means to me anyway. I haven't told Edward that I love him yet and he has showed me countless times that his love is true. I truely do love him and I figure it is about time I told him that. I know he knows that I love him but I know the shiver of happiness that shoots down my spine every time he says it to me. I wanted to show him that same happiness.

"Edward?" I asked biting my bottom lip.

"hmmm?" He brushed his lips against the back of my neck.

"I love you."

**Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Again, these chapters always take me a couple days to write. I can never seem to finish one chapter without having to come back to it later. I hope you're enjoying this story as much as I am. The next chapter is going to introduce another character that hasn't been mentioned yet. This person is going to cause Bella and Edward alot of problems. Keep reading to find out what happens! I don't want to give too much away but what happens next is really going to test Bella and Edward's love. Review and tell me what you think so far!**


	7. Chapter 7

_Recap:_

_I've been thinking alot about what love means - or what it means to me anyway. I haven't told Edward that I love him yet and he has showed me countless times that his love is true. I truely do love him and I figure it is about time I told him that. I know he knows that I love him but I know the shiver of happiness that shoots down my spine every time he says it to me. I wanted to show him that same happiness._

_"Edward?" I asked biting my bottom lip._

_"hmmm?" He brushed his lips against the back of my neck._

_"I love you."_

**I wonder how it's going to be when you don't know me anymore.**

**BPOV**

_When I was young I knew everything  
She a punk who rarely ever took advice  
Now I'm guilt-stricken, sobbing with my head on the floor  
Stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice, no  
I can't be held responsible  
She was touching her face  
I won't be held responsible  
She fell in love in the first place_

The music faded as I started to drifted asleep in my room at Edward's house. I don't know when I'll be able to start calling it my house - probably not for a while - but it's nice to have a place I could call home. I replayed how I finally told Edward that I loved him in my head once more before sleep overtook me completely.

--

_"Edward?" I asked biting my bottom lip._

_"hmmm?" He brushed his lips against the back of my neck._

_"I love you."_

_He lifted his head as I turned to face him. His talented green eyes once again took my breath away before he pressed his lips eagerly to mine. Edward shifted his body so that he was now hovering over me and I was lying flat on my back. I opened my mouth to allow him to deepen the kiss as I brought my hands to his bronze hair. Edward slid his hands slowly up and down my sides above my shirt. Then, I attacked his shirt and lifted it over his head. A loud growl ripped through Edward's chest at my eagerness. He then liften my own shirt above my head and threw it somewhere in his room. I couldn't retain the giggle that escaped. Edward smiled and brushed his hand against my cheek softly. He slowed himself by trailing light kisses all along my collarbone._

_"Edward," I sighed, completely in love with him._

_"I love you," He said looking into my plain, boring brown eyes. My eyes had nothing on his._

_"I love you too," I gasped as he pressed his covered bulge against my clothed center. He continued to grind as he kissed the visible part of my breasts. I sat up allowing him to unclasp my bra from behind. I blushed as it slid down my arms and Edward tossed it to the floor. I'd never given myself to another person in this way and I couldn't help from being shy._

_"Bella," Edward moaned before kissing both of my now fully visable breasts. My back arched as he took the left bud into his mouth. I reached between us and tried to unbotton his pants. Edward finished the job by sitting up and tossing them to the ground as well. He brought his lips down to mine and kissed me passionately. He continued to kiss me as he unbottoned my pants and slid them down my legs. He slid them slowly down my legs and let his hands trail back up my legs slowly after my pants were added to the growing pile of clothes. He did the same with my underwear._

_I was now fully exposed to him and love filled his eyes as he took all of me into them. He kissed the top of my right foot and trailed kisses up my leg and thigh. "Edward," I moaned as I battled with his boxers. He swiftly pushed them down his legs and kicked them to the ground. I could feel his hardness press against the inside of my thigh. I moaned at the contact._

_"Bella," Edward moaned. "I want to make love to you."_

_He didn't even have to ask. I wanted to make love to him too._

_I spread my legs further apart and he settled inbetween them. He gave me one last longing look before I nodded and he pushed slowly into me. Edward groaned and I gasped as he took my innocence. Edward stopped, giving me time to adjust before I thrusted forward gently telling him it was ok to continue. I'm not going to lie, it hurt, but I wanted this and so did he. I kept my eyes locked on his the entire time and he never once looked away either._

_Edward left no part of my body untouched. He kissed where his hands weren't touching and passionately made love to me. When I began to tighten around him, Edward whispered in my ear how much he loved me and that he would always love me. It was beautiful. I fell over the edge along with him and he kissed my forehead before he pulled out to lay beside me. He pulled me into his arms as our breathing started to return to normal. We stayed like this for a while until something crossed my mind._

_"I should probably go to sleep if I want to be able to function for school tomarrow," I said sitting up in an attempt to leave his bed._

_Edward sat up alarmed, "Don't leave. Sleep in here tonight."_

_I put a hand on his cheek and kissed him lightly. "I don't want to upset Carlisle and Esme - at least not this soon," Edward laughed at the last part. I wanted to stay in bed with Edward but I knew the right thing would be to sleep in the room that Carlisle and Esme had generously given me - at least for the first night._

_"I love you. Goodnight, Edward," I said kissng him once more. Edward pulled me closer to him as I began to pull away, deepening the kiss. When he finished, he kissed my forehead before letting me go. "Goodnight. I love you," He said softly._

--

I was almost there - the place where you can fly and fall without getting hurt. I would dream of Edward every single night for the rest of my life.

My eyes popped open when I felt a light kiss on my shoulder. I removed my earphones and blinked to see Edward lying beside me.

"What are you doing?" I giggled.

"I missed you," He smiled.

"I didn't go far," I laughed.

"Far enough."

I let Edward have his way and cuddled up next to him as he wrapped his arms securely around me. I fell asleep and I did dream of Edward, just like I knew I always would.

--

"Bella," My eyes opened to a sun-warmed room and Edward's lips on my cheek. "Goodmorning," He said.

"Goodmorning," I replied kissing him softly.

Edward showered first as I unpacked the things I had brought from Renee's. After we were both showered, dressed, and ready for school, Edward led the way to his car and opened my door for me as the gentleman he always is.

The drive to school was nice. Edward's fingers were entwined in mine and he would occasionally lift our hands to brush my cheek with the back of his hand. I never tired of looking into his eyes when he did that.

We pulled into the parking lot at school and I opened my door before Edward had a chance to. He took my hand again and walked me to class.

"Would it be weird if I said I wanted to walk you to all of your classes?" He asked.

"Not weird at all," I said caressing his cheek as he leaned down to kiss me.

"My first period class is on the other side of the school so it might take me a little while to get back here," He said.

"I'll wait," I smiled and he kissed me once more. I had almost forgotten about the Barbie Zombies. I didn't really care what they thought or said anymore.

"I'll see you in 45 minutes," He laughed, our fingers still entwined as he walked away until our arms wouldn't go any further.

I couldn't be bothered to listen to today's lecture on the importance of math so I layed my head on the desk as always, pulling my hoodie over my head to cover my earphones from the teacher's view.

_I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore  
Before you take a swing  
I wonder  
What are we fighting for  
When I say out loud  
I want to get out of this  
I wonder  
Is there anything I'm going to miss  
I wonder How it's going to be  
When you don't know me  
How's it going to be  
When you're sure I'm not there  
How's it going to be_

I noticed that the class was over as soon as the other students began leaving their seats. I was hoping I'd fall asleep and open my eyes to Edward instead of having to stand in the hallway against the lockers waiting for him. I stood up and walked out of the classroom and did exactly that.

"Hi," A voice said from beside me.

I looked up to see a boy I didn't recognize gleaming beside me. He smiled and pretended he didn't see the lack of interest on my face.

"I'm Jacob Black," He continued.

I turned to face the other direction. _I really don't care who you are, kid._ - I wanted to say. This "Jacob Black" followed my change of direction and was now facing me again.

"You're Bella right?" He asked. _How the hell did he know who I was?_

"Who wants to know?" I asked, still not looking in his direction.

"Me. You're gorgeous," He looked like a sick dog in heat. He could have been panting like one and it probably wouldn't catch my attention since he was already acting like a dog. It would have just fit.

"What the hell do you want?" I asked - frustrated now.

"Oh, I want you," He replied - his voice deep. It was then that he pushed me up against the lockers and I let out a cry of shock and pain. He was strong. I wouldn't be able to get away from him in this grip.

"What the hell! Get off of me!" I yelled. Other students passed by as if nothing was happening - probably trying to avoid themselves being in a similar situation. Jacob Black was very tall and he even looked strong. He looked like one of those guys you stand an extra five feet away from in public. He could probably take you down without you even realizing what was happening.

He pressed himself even closer to me, making it hard to breathe. I moaned in pain and disgust. This position wasn't exactly comfortable and his added weight was really starting to do a number on my lungs.

"Tell me you want it, Bella," He groaned.

I noticed a familiar bronze haired beauty down the hall. His expression was confused until realization hit and he began sprinting towards us.

"Get the hell off of her!" He yelled as he sprinted down the hallway. When Edward reached Jacob he tore him off of me in a quick and smooth fashion. Jacob tumbled to the ground and Edward began kicking the living shit out of him. Jacob yelped in pain as Edward repeatedly kicked him in the stomach, legs, and chest. I slid down the lockers holding my knees to my chest as I watched.

Edward finally left Jacob limp on the ground and ran over to where I sat by the lockers.

"Bella, are you ok?" He asked worriedly and out of breath.

"I'm fine," I let it brush off. I only hugged my knees tighter to my chest.

Edward, already kneeling beside me, picked me up and carried me from the school.

"I'm fine, Edward," I said. I really was fine. I wish he would stop overreacting.

"I'm so sorry," He said kissing my forehead as he continued to carry me down the hill from the school. I assumed he was taking me back to his house.

"It's not your fault. I can walk," I said but Edward shook his head. I didn't bother to argue and let him carry me the rest of the way to his house. Edward dug out the key from his pocket and brought me inside and upstairs to his bedroom. Carlisle and Esme must have both been at work since no one was home.

"Edward, are _you _ok?" I asked as he sat at the desk in his room and fittled with the key.

"No, Bella," He whispered and stood up to walk to the bed. He sat down next to me and took my hand in his. He rubbed small circles on the top of my hand.

"He could have taken advantage of you," He spit out sounding disgusted. "What would I have done if I let someone do that to you?"

"Edward, you can't save me from everything - and I doubt he would have done anything in the hallway." I said brushing my other hand against his cheek.

"He would have tried to take you somewhere else. I'm supposed to protect you, Bella," He said it as if it were my mother's dying wish.

"I don't need anyone to 'protect me'. I can take care of myself," I was annoyed at this point. Who did he think he was? I wasn't a child who needed a babysitter 24/7.

"And what would have happened if I didn't come when I did? I didn't see anyone else jumping in to help you," His words hurt. This is what I get for letting my guard down and letting someone into my life. It's always my fault. I've taken care of myself for as long as I can remember and I wasn't about to stop now.

"You know what? If I'm such a pain in your ass then maybe you should stop caring about me. That way, if something bad happens you won't have to worry your pretty little head about getting involved," I said coldly. I was beyond worried about regretting my words. All good things come to an end, and I knew this was going to be the end. It always ended like this.

I didn't give him time to respond before storming out of his room. I slammed the front door behind me and ran down the street until I needed to stop and catch my breath. I folded my arms against my chest and continued walking. I wasn't sure where I was going, - there was no where to go now - I just let my legs carry me. Angela and Ben both dropped out of school because they wanted to travel. Angela left a note in my box of photos of Charlie and I that was dated a few weeks ago. She knew exactly where I'd look. It was hard letting go of her. She was the only one who really understood why I feel the way I do and I didn't even get to say goodbye.

I heard a car pull up along side of me and I assumed it was Edward. I didn't even bother to turn my head. He was the last person I wanted to talk to right now. The car beeped a few times and I continued to ignore it. "Hey, beautiful," A voice called from the car. I didn't even have to turn my head to know who it was now. I recognized that voice from earlier today. Jacob Black. My eyes narrowed. I continued to keep my pace and didn't bother responding. Maybe he'd just get the hint and go away. He mumbled something else before I noticed he was pulling over. _Oh shit. Run Bella._ My breath caught in my throat. This is exactly what Edward had told me. _And what would have happened if I didn't come when I did? I didn't see anyone else jumping in to help you._ Edward wasn't coming this time and no one else was around. I had no chance at all unless I picked up my feet and ran until my heart stopped. I was still convinced that he would catch me either way. Pure horror overtook me as he stepped from his car and ran towards me. I ran in the same direction I was walking until Jacob pinned me to the ground. I struggled and screamed until his fist collided with my face. That's when everything went black.

--

I regained my consciousness to the smell of dirty laundry. I wondered if my whole life was a dream and I was back in Renee's house. I blinked to clear my vision. Where I was now was much worse. I always suspected that Renee would beat me to death or that one of her boyfriends would. I couldn't see this coming and it scared me.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," The voice boomed from around a thick cement corner. "No one is going to find you now."

"What makes you think someone would have come looking anyway?" I challenged. I knew no one was coming. I only wished that he would do what he was going to do and get it over with.

"Edward will be coming," His voice was excited.

"You're wrong," I spat. I didn't want him to come. I didn't need him to rescue me. I wasn't afraid of Death.

"Oh, he will be coming my dear. He loves you too much not to come," I didn't catch the inside joke he was smirking about.

"What are you talking about?" I asked confused and exhausted as I struggled on the chains that pinned me to the wall.

"Edward hasn't told you? HA! He and I used to go to school together a long time ago. He ruined my entire life! He took the one person from me that mattered most! It's my turn to take someone away from him!" He growled.

"Sorry to disappoint you but Edward isn't going to care what happens to me. He told me himself," In so many words Edward did say 'You're on your own.' But that could have been the anger or I misunderstanded his intentions.

"Oh well, I guess I'll just have to have my fun with you then, huh?" He laughed evilly. My breath caught in my throat.

_Edward where are you?_ How selfish am I to ask that question? I'm the one that told him to stop worrying about me and that I could take care of myself. I told Edward that I didn't need him - didn't _want_ him protecting me. What right do I have now to wish he was here? Edward wasn't coming because I pushed him away - like so many others before him. I've never loved anyone before like I love Edward. I ruined the only good thing I have left in my life

I had no one left. No one was coming. I was all alone - exactly how I wished for it to be.

**Note: Long chapter! It was so fun to write! What the hell is going to happen to Bella? Is Edward really over protecting her or will he risk everything because he loves her that much? Review to let me know what you think of the story and any predictions for chapter 8! Thanks for reading and to all who reviewed already!**


	8. The End

I'm sorry to leave you all hanging like this. I know it isn't fair to you but life isn't fair. Sometimes you just have to move on. I want you all to write your own endings to my stories. Write the ending in your mind of how you want the story to be.

I won't be completing these stories because the inspiration for them is gone. I know that if I continue writing now it won't be the same as it was before and I'll only end up disappointing you. I don't think I'm going to change my mind about this but you never really know what is going to happen tomarrow, a week from now, or even a year from now.

I wish you all the best and thank you for taking your time to read the stories I have created for Bella and Edward.

Happy Holidays.


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